medicinal shmedicinal

this rashlike disease
head to toe in insecurities
termites embarking on the inside
im alive when im alone
a work of art in shattered mirrors
hung under broken bulbs at midnight hours
liveliness sank its lancinating teeth into my limbs
wildfire ever since
eyes involuntarily aged..induced by medication
dissatisfaction and restless nights of indecision
is this battle against my racked mind worth the loss
numb tongue over the countless disappointment
and misdiagnosis
i hide under my sleeves so you can't ask me
inquiries that sound oh so familiar
I've got ten million answers and not enough strategy
fuck it, someone hand my dignity back to me, I've gotta start heading
home.
<3

my birthday is tomorow.

before today i believed i lived in neverland but then i realized in
neverland id never be alone.
i think its pathetic when people feel sorry for themselves and here i
am...population: 1 at this pity party.
its a proven fact that just being yourself never gets you anywhere.it
doesn't really end up like it does in movies...the outcast getting the
last laugh. its a bunch of bullshit everyone likes to eat up to gain
some sense of hope cause in reality no one cares if you're being
yourself or not.
i always thought if i lived alone, id be happier. i could solve all of
my problems and become a better person. I've quickly learned the only
problem lies within myself and now im forced to suffocate from it.

im cut out of pictures since my feelings won't get hurt
im pushed aside cause i wont care
i told you it was fine
i told you im okay

my heart is going to grow until it bursts. my inability to give a shit.

i wish i had the will to pretend to be someone you wanna love. id be
picture perfect and have the finest skin so that no one could decipher
the scars.

but i am just me

party has no sympathy, only a rush, giving you a run for your pulse.
<3