don't consider myself unhappy or depressed, actually i'd say i am happy
overall and today wasn't exactly a bad day, just not a good one, not to
mention the shit storm that just hit a few hours ago. nothing made me
smile, nothing happened that made me really happy today and i don't like
that. every day you should have something to make you smile, even if its
just for a moment. the nerves in my stomach won't stop aching, i feel
completely on edge and it sucks to need someone or something else,
besides myself, to make me feel alright. maybe i am really dependant on
other people. i'm more alone with every day that passes and that
actually doesn't make me sad at all and maybe it should. all i need is
the people who want to be close to me. whether its one person or 100
people, doesn't matter to me. i think that while i've been putting so
much faith in other people, i've forgotten to set aside some faith for
myself. that's something to think about.
it gets harder to attach myself to people because i'm so afraid of the
outcome. give me something to look forward to
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