everything is supposed to go smoothly this year and thus far it hasnt. i
have lowered many standards in order to be happier with myself and have
less of a struggle. still, it just seems to get harder. i feel im stuck
behind a door with no escape and someone on the outside always has the
key. a lot has changed and still is changing. im sticking to everything
i said i'd do in my last post, so far. it's harder than i had imagined
it to be. i cried my eyes out yesterday but there wasn't one second that
i thought to myself - i dont want to be here, i hate my life, etc etc..
like i used to do. i told myself "hey, we all break down and cry
sometimes, so get through it and you'll feel better". and i was right.

tomorrow, if everything goes smoothly, im hanging with tyler, mikey,
heather and tyler's friend lauren at the etf show in grand rapids.
should be fun..
-- elle